After a good night’s sleep we hit the road again, refreshed, only to be reduced to acute mental fatigue and despair when we arrived in the traffic system madness that is known as Tours. When I am confronted with design horrors such as this, I find myself imagining the board meeting where they first float the idea of a new traffic system. (I did a similar thing when I saw the aesthetic abortion that is the Renault Multiplas)
Picture the scene;
“So, Pierre, I ‘ave designed ze main street to spiral round a round a few times, culminating in a six lane catastrophe with no signs, so ze ‘apless motoriste has to take ze spleet second decision on their direction, and almost inevitably gets it wrong!”
The Director replies; “Bravo, Michel! I shall be recommending you for ze Nobel Transport prize! Your road systems are genial! Why, even I myself could not find my own home for three hours yesterday!”
It took us three times of asking just to get the damn Motorhome going parallel with the Loire….only the finding of further cheap diesel avoided our mental meltdown. Upon refuelling, we pulled in at the first opportunity to have a coffee.
We resolved to follow the Loire as long as possible and perhaps take in a Chateau. (God know there are so many along here, the French architects must have been having a “Buy one, get one free” promotion in the Sixteenth Century!)
Having escaped the murderous clutches of Les Rues de Tours, we came and went through Amboise, where we spied a glorious looking chateau, but the town seemed to be overrun with tourists (even one of those damnable trains) and we declined to stop, finally arriving in our final “Cha” for the time being, Chaumont, complete with its own Chateau. The Loire here spreads its banks into a wide flood plain which expands for about 500 meters from its shores, rising up to a gentle mound providing a fantastic natural parking place for Motorhomes. We pitched up here, along with a host of fellow travellers, amazed to find there were no prohibition signs, nor indeed, requests for payment. As I’m sure you’re coming to realise, we like that sort of thing.
Heading up to the Chateau that overlooks the river here, we were subjected to some Spinning wheel like devices constructed from bamboo, a quick twirl of which induces the contraption to emit an initially interesting, but ultimately insanity-inducing, “tune” of sorts. Pandas are dying of hunger for the sake of this so called art….. A personal view, and possibly not true, but, I think valid, nonetheless….
Cresting the hill, we got our first view of the Chateau, a beautifully constructed edifice, complete with drawbridge. Initially more like a Castle, its riverside walls were demolished to give a more impressive view of the Loire. Now that’s what I call seriously implementing open-plan idealism! Originally the site of a fortress to protect the town of Blois, it was razed to the ground by Louis XI in 1465. In that same year Pierre D’Ambrose began rebuilding the Chateau that stands today, the work being continued by his son and grandson and finally being completed in 1510.Surviving the Revolution, it had a long and colourful history before finally being handed over to the State in 1938 by the ruined sugar heiress Marie-Charlotte Say. I have pondered this. How can you become a ruined sugar heiress? I mean, if you invented the pogo stick for example, one can understand your empire collapsing as the fad wore off, but sugar? It’s practically a staple, isn’t it? Did France have an epidemic of diabetes? After careful consideration, I have reached the conclusion that Madame Say was just bad with money.
All this is well and good, and I am ever aware of the weight of history that drips from the eaves of these grand old houses, but we had to pay 5.30 euros to have a quick shufti, and three-quarters of the place was closed!
Chateau, Schmateau!
Well, having done the Cha-cha, we spent a quiet night on the banks of the Loire (our bloody fridge doing its best to interrupt our slumber, deciding to shut down on a whim.) The Fridge, now nicknamed The Lunatic Fridge, would now begin to engage us in a battle of wills that was to last the entire journey…….
Text by Kev Moore
Drawing & Photos by Miki
Both on Planet Goodaboom
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